Tiffany’s
Cabaret
With its
famous reputation, it was only fitting that we go to the renowned Tiffany’s
caberet show, Pattaya’s finest and most fabulous ladyboys performing as they
only they know how.
We got a
‘songthaew’, a Thai-stye taxi, to the theatre. We bought our tickets before
immediately being swamped by a couple of the dazzling performers who towered
above us in their ridiculous heels and fancy costumes. We had some photos with
them before they started harassing us for money, refusing to let go of us until
they got just a little something. We then headed up to the balcony area where
we took our seats. No photos were allowed during the performance so only before
and after shots of the ladyboy beauties.
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Me and the girls |
The
performance kicked off with a voiced over introduction from a rather plump
ladyboy trying her best to mime the words and look coy as she ate up the stage.
She was surrounded by a handful of male (real!) backup dancers before they left
the stage to applause. The curtain then rose to introduce the first of thirteen
acts.
The first
act was a fusion of colour, with the dancers wearing incredibly flamboyant
headdresses and outfits. The theme for the act was Pattaya, an homage to the
area where the show is based, with an outrageous backdrop teeming with colour
and bright lights like the Las Vegas strip.
There
were three different types of outfits, each with a similar aesthetic design but
differing wildly in colour: gold and black feathers, black, red and white diagonal
striped patterns, and neon pink, green and yellow dresses that resembled a pack
of Stabilo highlighters. Each group took to the stage individually, dancing and
‘singing’ and standing to the side when the next group came out. Once all the
performers were on stage at the same time there was a ridiculous amount of
twirling and dancing which caused a sudden colour sensation on stage.
The
second routine was divided up into three parts and had a traditional Thai
theme, including dancing and music, and a backdrop of a typical Thai style
temple. Each part involved three elaborately dressed ladyboys in dazzling
dresses, miming to the words surrounded by their back up dancers. There were
three of these parts, so nine dancers in total until they brought out all the
dancers and performers for the finale of the act. This included one last
ladyboy who was clad in the shiniest white dress you’ve ever seen.
Many of
the dancers seemed to be just going through the motions, doing this show twice
a day, every day, must take its toll, but it’s nice to see the odd dancer
throwing his very soul into every dance move he does. One guy in particular
stuck out. I imagine he irritates all his co-dancers with his unnatural
enthusiasm.
The third
act was performed in front of the curtain as the crew behind no doubt prepared
the stage for the following act. A much simpler routine was played out here,
with one main performer and six back up dancers who were spread out in a line
along the front of the stage wearing suits and top hats. As the routine
continued they disrobed, pulling off parts of their suits until finally just
the lead dancer was wearing only her bikini, all the while tossing her long
dark hair back and forth, not in time to the music, just because she liked
doing it I suppose.
As the
third act finished, the fourth began and from the get go it was obvious the
theme here revolved around fans, with four giant ones covering the stage and
every performer holding one. The main performers had them sewn into their
dresses so they could hold them outstretched so they looked like wings. I’m
guessing the country theme here was China. There were many dancers, with one in
particular clad in white, while there were male dancers constantly banging on
their gongs, possibly the only real sounds coming from the stage.
Act five
was very simple; as the curtain descended one of the performers came on stage
dressed as Tina Turner and mimed her way through three of her classics. I
didn’t realise she was miming at first until I noticed the sequin covered prop
microphone. Hopefully I wasn’t the only one who was almost fooled. My only
excuse is I was so enraptured, hoping and waiting for ‘Simply The Best’, which
was sadly not forthcoming.
The
seventh act was probably the most outrageous, or at least that one time you
really wanted to sneak a photo. The ladyboy who came on stage was in a giant
sparkly silver shoe wearing a blue sequin dress and a silver headdress which
was a bird cage containing two doves in a huge black bonnet wig, singing ‘I’m
your drama queen tonight’. Say no more.
At this
point the show became a dancing tribute to other countries and their cultures
with the stage changing to reflect the country on show; these included India –
lots of belly dancing, Vietnam – lots of bicycles and pointy hats, Russia –
lots of big warm looking dresses and Italy – lots of Pisa, a giant leaning
tower taking centre stage.
In
between two of these acts, the lights went out causing the theatre to fall into
complete darkness with just background music playing, a male and female duet,
and a flashlight directed at the stage. Out of nowhere, the light caught a male
performer dressed in a tuxedo miming along to the male parts and then in the
blink of an eye, the flashlight was on a woman in a red dress as the female
singer’s voice came to life. As these exchanges continued, the crowd started to
murmur as it became apparent that the two performers were in fact one and the
same person, a ladyboy dressed up like Tommy Lee Jones in a case off Two Face suit.
The audience began to applaud and once the game was obviously up, the lights
came back on to reveal the performer who was clearly revelling in their role, a
real treat.
To
conclude, all the performers came on stage, all the ladyboys and male backup
dancers in all kinds of regalia and bowed for the audience as what can only be
described as the Tiffany’s theme song played in the background. With lyrics
like, ‘Is it a man or is it a woman?’ I can only assume it is one they came up
with themselves. All of the ladyboys were dressed to kill, with more than a
couple falling out of the tops of their dresses, one size to big, or too small,
depending on how you looked at it.
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Nice orderly line outside to take photos of the girls |
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Serious face |
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Okay, smile for the camera... |
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Thank f**k she's gone |
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Any more takers? |
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Come here... |
Once
outside, many of the more modestly dressed ladyboys had congregated outside
of the main entrance and were posing with the audience, holding on to big wads
of cash they received from passersby for their performance and the opportunity
to be in a photo with them. Constantly hooting and cat-calling to the men to
join them on the raised platform for an experience only Thailand could possibly
serve up, this was a pleasant change from the more common ladyboy fair that is
so usually the norm here; no deadbeats after poor unwitting drunks here, only
classy ladies.